1396: Another Interlude

I need another break. I haven’t gone anywhere this time, but I just… need a break.

Why? Well, several reasons. Firstly, I quite simply feel like shite right now, in more ways than one. I feel like I’m coming down with something — feeling super-tired, bunged up and finding it tough to get up in the morning — and have also spent the past few weeks feeling more than a little depressed.

As those who have dealt with depression will know, there doesn’t have to be anything in particular that “causes” a depressive episode, they just come and go at times. It sucks, but all you can really do is just ride it out until things feel better, and preferably not provoke it as much as possible.

Which brings me slightly to my point; with this piece of writing, I think I’m provoking myself a bit. As regular commenter and good friend Jud astutely observed the other day, at least part of the work I’m doing on this current piece of creative writing is drawn from my own experience. There’s a healthy dose of fiction in there too, just to be clear, but there are certain aspects of the whole thing that I’m drawing directly from my own experiences and memories, and that’s proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be.

It’s not that I haven’t written about my thoughts, feelings and memories before, of course — particularly when it comes to teaching — but I haven’t drawn on those memories for such a sustained period of time in quite a while, and that’s the thing that’s proving to be somewhat challenging.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to finish the story and see it through to its conclusion, but depending on how busy I am and how my mental wellbeing for the day has been, I may find myself having to take occasional breaks along the way, so I apologise in advance for any other posts like this one along the way.

Taking breaks provides me with the opportunity to gather my thoughts, relax and vent a little steam. It also provides the potential for talking about the creative process, should I feel so inclined. And perhaps most importantly, it takes some of the pressure off me, meaning that I can enjoy the writing process more in the long run rather than subjecting myself to arbitrary deadlines that matter to no-one other than me.

So yes. Tonight is a break. I got back from my Japanese evening class a short while ago, and in just a moment I’m going to go and sit in bed and play either Super Mario 3D Land or 999. Or perhaps a bit of both. That seems like a particularly wise course of action at this juncture.

Normal business to resume shortly.

おやすみなさい！